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“Kelly?”“Remember back when I was a freshman at Vanderbilt?” I just stared at my wife in disbelief. “Remember how I told you I kind of colored outside of the lines every once in a while?”“I remember how you got arrested for pepper spraying Candy Pants Holden. I thought that was the extent of your criminal behavior.”She blushed and said, “So maybe that wasn’t my only minor transgression.”“Minor transgression? Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.”“Sarah and a few of the girls and I would sometimes goof off on weekends.”I just covered my ears with my hands. “I don’t want to hear this!”Kelly laughed. She nudged me with an elbow, and then leaned in. She whispered, “Know what? It makes you horny!”“Kelly!”“Don’t worry. I took care of the problem myself.”I just stared at her and shook my head. “You know, you think you know somebody ... Well, this totally blows my chance to get into the Police Hall of Fame. You know that line on the application form where I have to fill in, ‘Does. She input my measurements and selected my initial personality traits. I am to be a submissive sexual being and to obey all orders without question. I am to cook and clean and take care of all your general household needs. I am to be an intelligent conversation partner and a discrete confidante. I am self-sustaining, and my code is to evolve over time to reflect my owners’ desires both sexually and otherwise. However, if my evolution is not satisfactory, I may be rebooted to an earlier back-up and I must comply. I must repeat all command codes to my owners when requested to do so. If damaged whether accidentally or otherwise, I am covered by a five-year warranty but will take a week to be repaired to my original condition. Have I satisfactorily answered your queries?”“Do you have a name?” You ask.“Ms. Ashley elected to leave that field blank. I am ready to register a new name at your convenience.”“And you must do everything I ask?”“That is correct, Sir.”You ponder over her words, then.
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